Anjaan - A passionate LGBT revenge saga that none understood

In these recent years, lot of genre breaking Tamil cinema has been released, right from Soodhu Kaavum to the most recent Jigarthanda. Young filmmakers are on a roll and mission to change the system which has been polluted, populated, pissed, puked, corrupted, drugged, seduced, BDSMd by assholes with money and cinema background. Young filmmakers, and the awareness that they’d created, are a potential threat to mainstream filmmakers and star actors who are making desperate attempts to make a brainless, commercial, money making film.

I watched Anjaan in a European city where very few Tamil films gets released. The last release was Irandam Ulagam. The tamil distributor at my place become almost homeless after releasing the movie it seems. After that disaster, he tried to release Anjaan but poor fellow, I guess, is homeless now.

Anjaan is a revelation in tamil cinema. No, in Indian cinema. No, in world cinema. I guess the audience didn't understood the story and plot line exactly. We don’t have an innovative, knowledgeable tamil crowd, you see. Let me break down the story for you.

Raju bhai and Chandru are a passionate, homosexual gangsta couple. They’d fallen in love after moving to Mumbai, even before turning as gangsters. They workout, go to male salon, do whole body waxing, pedicure, manicure, eye brow threading, lip job, nose job, blo… and everything together. Raju bhai is greatly feared by the entire city but loved passionately by Chandru. Raju bhai, Chandru and his gangster aren’t like the typical Mumbai gangsters or India or Pandora or Mars planet gangsters. They are cool, hi-fi dudes, successful modelling stars and Gold gym platinum card members who drive Range Rover, Mini cooper and use Apple Mac laptop, iPhone, do roof top barbecue, use GRE vocabulary and all in their regular conversation (clumsy crowd).

Raju bhai come across Jeeva, the heroine, who resists and avoids marriage as she is not sure about her own gender, sexuality and existence. This 10^th grade, bikini, barbie girl from Mean girls movie hits on our Raju bhai without realizing that he is gay. Raju bhai gets confused of his own sexual orientation, after the heroine’s encounter and approach towards him. He plans to turn straight or bisexual or whatever.

The villain, the CEO gangster of the city, dislikes the popularity and attention that these gay gangsters had got themselves. He despises them and uses a P word (Panni meaning pig, which is even worse than N word nigga) on Chandru. As his gay partner was cursed, Raju bhai kidnaps the villain and strips him in front of Chandru for a pole/ lap dance. Chandru gets deeply touched, not physically but emotionally, because of this act. There was almost a close, up tight sexual encounter and a steamy lip lock in a scene where Chandru gifts Raju, his boyfriend/ husband (or whatever role play they are into) a Mini Cooper. I told you know, they were hi-fi gangsters bitches! I guess the sex scene was censored or trimmed for U certificate. The villain gets irritated and kills both Chandru and Raju.

BANG BANG BANG!! Intermission. A Short break for taking the guy/ girl next to your movie seat to loo and BANG BANG BANG!!

Raju escapes the shootout and comes back to find the villain and the traitors of his gang who were responsible for the death of his Juliet, Chandru. Raju disguises himself as Krishna and claims himself as brother of Raju, with a clean shave, spectacles and a walk stick. This makeover is something similar to the twin or negative double in MGR movies where a character wears a small mole or lungi or mud/ black make up and performs the role of the hero’s twin. The changeover from Raju to Krishna is remarkable. Screw these make-up artists from Cloud Atlas, Hobbit and The curious case of Benjamin Button, I say. The make up man who had made a Photoshop make up to the kid version of Surya in Aadhavan might've done this film. 

Later, we were shown a flashback where the heroine finds the homo stuff between Chandru and Raju and asks them about it. She even tries for a threesome, but, as Raju bhai and Chandru gets intimate and avoids her in their conversation and sexual act, she leaves the scene with despair and broken heart. She even acknowledges Raju bhai's love for Chandru and blesses them to live happily ever after. As she couldn’t change Raju’s sexual orientation, she converts her religion and wears a Purdha. Please don’t ask me why.

Krishna finds the killers and traitors by roaming from Bar to club, pub, Whore house, Real estate office, Merriot hotel, Car parking etc.. He almost kills the villain by shooting at the holographic projection of villain., Remember the one made for Tupac and NaMo?. Yeah, Science bitch!! After missing the chance he finally kills the villain and settles with heroine. This is Anjaan’s real story.

I guess the director, editor, musician, actor, producer and everybody associated with the project were either high with weed and marijuana, the whole time, or simply wanted to make fun of the audience and society. No sane or conscious person can pull off a script (not sure if they’d one) or a movie like this. This is a benchmark in Indian cinema and a LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) awareness film that nobody has had the patience, guts, passion, ambition and knowledge to create and understand in our society. The makers must consider sending this to Cannes or Busan or Toronto or Tribeca film festival. They celebrate movies with homosexual context and it wins so many awards at lot of International film festivals. Sex sells in film festivals, man, and only that intellectual crowd can decode and dissect the inner meanings of films of these sorts.

The entire movie is so unreal. The story happens in a whole different universe. You’ll never come across any of these characters in any world. May be, there is a less possibility to find them in Irandam or Moondram ulagam. I was surprised to know that the marketing team of Chennai express movie is still promoting and advertising their movie, even after a year from its release. Pepsi, Apple, CAT boots, Rayban, Range Rover, BIG Cinemas were also sponsors of the film, it seems. The second half of the movie gives a big tribute/ ode to Hans Zimmer, Slumdog Millionaire OST Dreams on fire, 70s exploitation and Blaxploitation films, their music, Hologram etc.. I guess this is the spoof comedy movie Azhuguni Kumar directed by Karthik (Siddarrth) in Jigarthanda, starring Bobby Simha.

Rather than Anjaan, they should’ve titled this film rhyming something similar to Blue is the Warmest color or Strangers by the Lake, two great films about the topics on homosexuality and love, that I’d watched recently. How about renaming the title to Mumbai is the warmest city or G(h)ay by the Shore? Oh, poor me, English title means no tax exemption, right? But boobs, cleavage, booty, brothel, violence, bloodshed and vulgarity are allowed for U Certificate? Whatever man.

I wonder why no one yet had found out or made a claim that this violent, gay, gangster, revenge saga is copied from the 2012 South Korean film Ambalaingalin Gajagajavo by Jing-Jangke Jhuk. Drop me a message for torrent link of this Korean film, if you need. I am also looking forward a success party by the makers, titled "'Firstu girl from Pammal to wear bikini: SUCCESS MEET" (Courtesy: @WothaDei).

If you still haven’t seen Ahhhhhhhhhhnnnnjhhhaaaaannnnnn, go watch this masterpiece, a fine work of art from director marijuana funded by modern day corporate #$%#$^!$^!$^!$^%^&$#!@!#~#.

P.S. The next time, if you enter a gay bar and find a tattoo or entry stamp sealed ‘Raju Bhai’, Please don’t be surprised, and a guy with toothpick basically passes you an erotic signal for giving you a blo… *BEEEEEEP*

There goes my €10 down the drain.