Kochadaiiyaan - My thoughts

So Kochadaiyaan has been watched, Finally. 

If you’re the guy who yells “Dei, this is the first epic novel attempt in the Indian cinema of the Tamil cinema with Rajinikanth and this is a Marana mass, theri story of the motion capture blah blah blah.. How dare you talk about Thalaivar, Dei ne oru….” Please kindly stop reading this post further and move the F on. If you want some fun, pun and jolly post about Kochadaiiyaan. Go on. HEAVY PLOT SPOILER ALERT.

Ever since they started the project, so many had double and triple face palm moments. Cheers, me too bro. When the first teaser poster of Kochadaiiyaan was released with ruthra thandavam looks resembling the book cover of The Immortals of Meluha, my mindvoice was exactly the same as George Clooney's from Gravity. Remember his opening dialogue in the film ? “Houston in the blind, Houston in the blind, I have a bad feeling about this mission”.

Here goes the plot. Kochadaiiyaan is a successful, much loved warrior of Naseer's county. His popularity and fame makes the king Naseer to go jealous and evil on him. Kochadaiiyaan and team has been tactically attacked and captivated as slaves. Our poor Kochadaiiyaan fellow is left cornered and helpless. Naseer sentences him to death calling a traitor and betrayer. Kochadaiiyaan is beheaded (Hum Game of Thrones sad theme). (2^nd Half) 

His son Rana escapes to the enemy’s city, grows up there, becomes the Thalapthi (captain) of opposite army. Frees the slave who are his own country men, makes them to join in the army and takes them back to their own county to avenge Naseer for killing his father. He gets caught red handed by Plastic Padukone while he attempts to kill Naseer, her father. Rana is sent to jail for this. (1^st Half)

(Climax) HAHAHAHAHAH. LOLOLOLOLOL. (Ok, stops laughing). Thalaivar Rana escapes Jail, killing not some poor animated security guards but few leopards, tigers, cheetah or some dog fucked wolf face creature (Not sure if that creature has been animated by Irandam Ulagam animators). Whatever. He returns to the battlefield, kills Naseer and JOCKEY Shroff. While he attempts to kiss our Plastic Padukone and grope her improvised anime butt, douche bag bro Sena, comes outta nowhere, whose sworn duty is to protect Naseer, arrives to the scene like the delayed Policeman entry to crime scene in Tamil movies. We get a Thodarum (To be continued…) card there.

“WTF, Dei, Adanga…!!” Is that what you feel. Cheers. Same feeling mate.

I thought that the crisp run-time of 2 hours was really good. But again, that crisp run-time was ruined with frequent, useless songs like the ones from Thiagaraja Bagavathar films. Hero arrives. Song1. Countrymen claps. Song 2. Hero, Heroine looks at each other. Song 3. Marriage. Song 4. Past story sequence. Song 5. Sad feeling. Song 6. Happy comeback feelings. Song 7. DEEII. Songs has been misused and Rahman’s craft hasn’t used properly. Paavam poor ARR. 

Many of them were raving that KS Ravikumar has done justice to the screenplay. I was like, Dude WTF. Even Hanuman or Chotta Bheem or some Tamil Aesop fable has the same shit. To me, it seemed like this current plot of Kochadaiiyaan is the least script writing work one could do, just for the heck of it. If you are really into fantasy stories of dynasty, do watch Game of Thrones. Being a big fan of Game of Thrones series, I can’t stop myself connecting and noticing the similarities, I am not saying that it’s inspired and intentional, I just found it so funny. Imagine Kochadaiiyaan (Ned Stark) – Beheaded by the Mad King (Joffrey). Rana (Arya Stark & Daenerys Targaryen)  sees his father’s beheading, runs to JOCKEY Shroff's county to free the unsullied slaves and he makes them to join the army. Only nudity, wine and blood shed of GOT series missing. Guess they spared it for procuring a 'U' Certificate from Indian censor board.

They’d reincarnated the legendary Tamil comedian Nagesh in the movie. Yes, I did loved it. One big positive note in this overly ambitious stupidosaus project. The guy who had given voice and typical Nageshesque gestures had really done well. Ho! Did Sarath Kumar was also a part of the cast, I thought he just gave voice for Naseer’s son’s character, as the animated figure looked like the face of actor Prem from Krodham (Remember the one who looks like a cross between our Gaptun VijayaKanth and yesteryear Thillu Mullu Rajinikanth) or Suresh Babu of Annamalai fame. One of my friend told that "Idha Sarath Kumar na appo Raadhika va kalyanam pannadhu yaaru!"

Naatiya Peroli Rukimini (Kana Kangiren Kana Kangiren Kannalaney..) is casted Kocha's daughter and Nadana Thaaragai Shobana as Kocha’s wife. Well that some what makes sense, No?. Similar facial looks, both of them are dancers, easy to animate, one inflated figure and another one deflated figure. Deepika Plastic Padukone animation was like the strip down minion version of Kim Kardarshian and by any chance, was Shobana animation is inspired from Savitha Bhabhi comics?. Boo.               

Kochadaiiyaan's character animation looked like a topless, angry Toshiro Mifune, a mandai with a big kondai and a dark skin texture. He is an ardent follower of Lord Shiva, intro with Ruthra Thandavam dance and all. Edit that dark skin to white color palette, apply smiles, rajini’s grace, change hairstyle. Boom. We get Rana. WoW. Now magnetic lasso cut the face, add a beard and long hair. Boom. We get his bro Sena. Yo!

Rajini’s grace and facial looks, being both the save face and decoy for bringing in the audience crowd, the makers of Kochadaiiyaan tried their best in getting the graphics right in Rajini’s face as real as possible. Compared to the worst menial, mediocre, shitty graphics throughout the whole movie, Rajini’s face (Rana) was somewhat saved and spared, I would say.

Why use a (Loose or lost) Motion capture picture in the first place when you can’t capture neither the motion nor the emotion of characters? The big lecture on motion capture during the start and ending of the film is even more nauseating and irritating than the typical “Naan thaan Mukesh..” Hey foreign folks, check this "Naan thaan Mukesh." video. It’s fucking hilarious and creepy as well.  Statutory warning ad played before each and every film in Indian theater, as a government and film chamber’s rule.

The lecture on the technology, to me, felt like a gentle disclaimer card that goes like “Yo Homies, we wanted to do some serious pioneer, motion capture animation stuff with big actors. We neither had prior experience nor huge budget like Hollywood films but did our best, which is shitty and worst. So please shut the fuck up, pay Rs. 120 or 150 (If you’re in Chennai, Pune or Hyderabad) Rs. 500 – Rs. 700 or One Kidney ( If you’re in Banglore or Mumbai) and watch this 2D, 3D piece of shit and walk off home praising and singing the hymns of Thalaivar. Rajini IN DA HOUSE” (Try and read this again with Hiphop, rap style song)            

Being a big fan of animation films and the recent motion capture technology, I can’t stop watching the film and getting my cornea ruptured. The makers could have done justice by making it as a good Animation film and adding the voice overs of Rajini, Nagesh, Naseer and others. Remember how Robin Williams voiced for Genie character in Aladdin, Tom Hanks voiced for Woody in Toy story, Jesse Eisenberg and Anne Hathaway voiced for Rio 1 & Rio 2 etc..

Indian animation films, though very less, few like Arjun: The warrior Prince, Kashyap’s Return of Hanuman, Hanuman and even Fantastic Mr. Fox styled Roadside Romeo had some good animation. Again, I know the budget constraints for an Indian movie and I am not comparing Kochadaiiyaan with Avatar, Tintin, Planet of the Apes or Gravity but.. Man.. rather than making a shitty motion capture with hard work and big budget, why not make an excellent animation film with the same budget and work. Even Soundarya Rajinikanth, the director, has a good experience on animation works, I guess. In another case take Selvaraghavan’s Aayirathil oruvan or Kamal’s Dasavatharam for example. They attempted to narrate a Tamil mythological fiction, best used the graphics wherever necessary and made their best they could. (Don’t expect me to talk about Selva’s Irandam ulagam. I ordered a MIB Style Neuralyser to forget the gory moment and movie experience).

To the fellows who make mokka Chuck Norris jokes on Rajinikanth (without even knowing the reference), you can laugh your ass off during the animation fight scenes saying “Abhe Yaar Rajinikanth beats 5 villains at a time and make them fly both in animation and real feature films. Hilarious LOL ROFL”.  Poda dei, you accept the same if Salmon Bhai, SWAG Rukh Khan, Jr. NTR, Nagorjuna and Ravi Taja does the same in Hindi and Telugu movies, No?. Same KOMMERCIAL formula for us. Yeah, racial and linguistic pun in-un-intended. English pesnaalum tamizhan da. Ada Poda!

Having said all this, let me confess. I somewhat liked and enjoyed this movie. Yes, you read that right. I know it will sound sarcastic but its not. I liked it as guilty pleasure of sorts, obviously, for watching Thalaivar Rajini's gestures, moves and hearing some of his trademark punch-packed one liners, after long time. And yes, in a bomma padam which could've still been enjoyable even if it has been done by perfect voice impersonation artists or mimics like Robo Shankar, Siva Karthikeyan or Lollu Sabha Jeeva. There, I said it.

Thalaivar rocks. Period. This time it’s just an experimental, high jump slip between his over enthusiastic daughter and an unexpected commercial slaughter. Baba type legacy, it seems. He He.